May 25, 2011

Potent Weapon

You know, I don't complain a lot. When I do, I wish I could it make it an art form—like Rox, for example, who has established a glorious, rolicking rant style that anyone would envy. But my sort of whine will have to do.

I'm driving a loaner car while my own car is being worked on. It's a basic sedan with good sound, nice enough except for one thing: the odor. Oh Em Gee.

Some scientist somewhere has invented the most potent scent in the entire history of the world and convinced deodorant manufacturers to include it in their products. The odor is so obnoxious that it leaves its essence wherever it passes. That's almost normal, but it's also normal for scent to fade away. This stuff lingers for HOURS. And today I learned it can stay for DAYS.

Apparently the service guy who brought around my loaner car was wearing something containing this vile substance. He was in the car for only a few minutes, yet the car reeked of this unnamable sickly sweet stench. It is thick and just wrong, wrong, wrong. I opened the windows and sunroof and hoped for the best, but I continued to detect the heavy scent even hours later. It seemed to diminish last night, but apparently that's only because so much air was moving through the car.

This morning I jumped in to head downtown and GAH. It was back, almost full force. I'm guessing somehow it is embedded in the leather. Ever see that episode of Seinfeld when Jerry couldn't get the valet's body odor cleaned out of his car? This is the chemical version of the same thing. All I can say is, that service guy better not be driving MY car back when it's ready.

This pungent artificial scent is apparently supposed to be pleasant. The only other time a smell repulsed me this much was when a skunk let loose a few feet away. I'm not kidding. This stuff has the potential to be a serious weapon. Am I the only one to feel this way?

Update: Day three. Still there, but fading.

9 comments:

A Lewis said...

You're killing me! You so funny! I'll take a natural scent any day over an artificial one.

Roxrocks said...

Heh heh thanks for the compliment about my mad rantin' skillz. It's an art I've perfected in this lifetime.

That being said, I like my Jeep to smell like Coconut dipped in Vanilla. Seriously. It will rot your teeth it's so sweet in there. Something has to counter balance me behind the wheel.

tornwordo said...

LOL, looks like we've been attacked by the same stench. I would have complained at the hotel, but Serge couldn't even smell it.

MartininBroda said...

Well, this was amusing to read :)

Cubby said...

Just imagine the things that have taken place in that loaner car that they felt the need to mask the odor with a more powerful scent. Ewwww.

Java said...

Exactly! I've been bothered by that smell for a few years now. My oldest son likes a deodorant that I find abominable. Lots of laundry detergents have that same eau de yuck. We use unscented.

Ur-spo said...

better get some Nautica cologne

"Sir" said...

My worst fear: being stuck in a lift with a woman wearing "Poison".

THIS IS ME....ONLINE said...

It's comforting to know I'm not the only one. The only thing worse is when someone tries to hide that smell with cologne. GAG!