June 18, 2008

Amazing Grace

Preceded by Open Hearts, Open Plains

Not so long ago, I thought my beautiful boy might be lost to us, to himself. I hoped that this visit to the high plains desert might bring back to me the sweet boy that I knew. But I did not see that boy at all; I saw instead a maturing young man. He is quietly confident, speaking in metaphor of his new outlook on life and himself, showing an astonishing self-awareness and wholeness. He is growing into leadership and goal-setting for the first time in his life, and it is a wonder to witness. I thank God for allowing me to see this transformation.

Ben is not the only one to change in this past weekend; Abe and I have been challenged to examine our roles within our family and within our relationship, to balance our gifts and be aware of when it is time for one to step up and the other to step back, working as a team. This will take a conscious effort for both of us, and we are eager to have it happen. The dynamics of our personal relationship will benefit and our family’s connection will strengthen as a result.

This is a cathartic moment in the life of our family, one upon which we will look back and with a few key words remember. This is the stuff of life for which we all long; but note that it came at great cost, figuratively and literally, shared in part by loving people in our lives who have supported us. What would happen if we could accept the need for this kind of growth without the cost? Would we seek it as fervently? History and experience tells me that it is rare to grow without a painful catalyst. That makes us human, I suppose.

But allow me to encourage those who need help in any form to seek it quickly, vigorously, and to persevere. Those in our close network extended their support and shared their knowledge, and because of that we found shortcuts we would never have known. It was complete strangers who ultimately led us to this solution for our family, and our network of support has expanded exponentially. Reach openly for whatever help you need; you might be astounded at the number of people who want to help and do. I feel that I and my family are recipients of amazing grace from many sources. I am indebted to all and will do everything in my power to pay it forward.

In upcoming days I will post about our experience; meanwhile, please accept my humble thanks for your supportive comments and prayers.

The photo is sunset of our first day in the desert.

Next: Day One


David said...

Wonderful! So glad to hear about your miracle. Looking forward to reading more about this.

bigislandjeepguy said...

aloha, birdie: i echo david's sentiments!

Java said...

Ah, Birdie, may blessings abundant fill your life. I'm so thankful your family had such a successful encounter. I've been thinking about you for a week now, wondering how the voyage through the desert might have changed things. It sounds very good. Very good.

Welcome home.

Greg said...

You all have been in my thoughts, too, as I wondered how you were, and hoped that you were finding what you needed in the desert to re-invent yourselves as a family.

I'm so happy to hear of your experiences.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

I am so happy Birdie that it turned out so wonderful for you and your family, better than we could have hoped for from the sounds of it!

Beautiful picture.

Bill said...

Last year, when I was a desperate alcoholic seeking recovery, I was told that I must be open, honest, and willing in order to have a chance. It has worked so far.

It sounds like you took these qualities with you into the desert, and they served your family well. I am very happy to hear that you all experienced growth and healing. ♥

alto said...

So incredibly happy for you. Not only did things turn away from potential damage to your son, but the gained insight is going to be something he takes with him as he grows into a man. That's obviously a growth you have many reasons to be proud of.