Verbatim: Cat Instructions

Sheba is living with us until she can get back to school. She brought her cats with her, and they live in her bedroom. She's visiting family in California and left instructions on feeding the kitties. (BTW: that's a "K," not an "H" in the second kitty's name.)

Verbatim: Emoticons

Abe has discovered the chart of yellow emoticons on his new BlackBerry. He loves sending the kids messages with them. He texted Sheba a good night note, and then I got a text from her.

Sheba: PLEASE tell Dad not to send me emoticons of vaginas anymore.

Me: WHAT does that look like?!

Sheba: ({}) WHO is teaching him these things?!

Me: He insists that it is a big hug on his emoticon chart. :D

Sheba: Hahaha So what were the boobs when he sent me those?

Me: Ben also asked why he was sending him boobs, but I can't remember the emoticon it represented. He'd better not be sending these to his colleagues.

Sheba: Seriously! Hah! These are the boobs he sent: (.Y.)

Me: I think it was something like open arms.

Sheba: Weeeeird.

Me: Thanks for the biggest laugh I've had in a while.

Sheba: Haha. I just had a friend tell me it shows up as a hug on her phone too and she confused a few friends.

Me: If she figures out what the boobs are, let me know. Good night, sweet girl.

Sheba: Haha. Ok. Night night.

I'm willing to bet there's a small group of programmers out there somewhere laughing at their in joke.

Verbatim: Phone Cam

Abe is in California with Ben (and I'm alone!). Never having done it before, Abe sends me five pictures in quick succession and of questionable quality.

July 9, 2010 3:55 PM
I remember that place. Did Ben just show you how to use the phone cam?

July 9, 2010 3:57 PM
Maybe.

Verbatim: Movie Review

Sheba went to see "Twilight" today. She gave a one-sentence review.

"Twilight's like soccer: they run around for two hours, nobody scores, and its billion fans insist you just don't understand."

Update: Apparently she's quoting this review that is all over the InterWebs. I still like it, no matter the author.

Verbatim: Big Box

I'm in Florida. Abe and Sheba are in California. Ben is alone and eighteen. (What could possibly go wrong?) Ben was home when a package was delivered.

April 7, 2010 6:22 PM
A big Woot box came. What is it

April 7, 2010 6:24 PM
Sheba's Christmas present. Pls put it in basement under the stairs. Thx. Sorry nothing exciting.

April 7, 2010 6:24 PM
Lame

Update: I returned home eleven days later. The box was on the sofa.

Verbatim: Big Favor

Ben has an account online for buying games with my permission. He texted me from school.

Feb. 4, 2010 11:14 AM
IOU 15. Explain l8er

Feb. 4, 2010 11:42 AM
Can I ask you a big favor

Feb. 4, 2010 12:02 PM
What?

Feb. 4, 2010 12:15 PM
Can I have 5 dollars cuz I bought a game and made a mistake buying it. BUT I’ve learned my lesson on impulse buying and I’ll do research b4 I buy anything

Feb. 4, 2010 12:18 PM
How does giving you $5 fix things?

Feb. 4, 2010 12:19 PM
Cuz I badly spent 5.

Feb. 4, 2010 12:21 PM
But then I pay for your mistake. That doesn’t seem right.

Feb. 4, 2010 12:27 PM
I know but I was looking in games on my PSP and I saw a game that sounded like Snood and I thought I’d really want that and it’s not at all what I want. But the reas

Feb. 4, 2010 12:29 PM
on I’m asking 4 a bailout is that decision will haunt me every time I pick up my PSP

Feb. 4, 2010 12:37 PM
So you want it to haunt me instead? Tell you what: you can work it off with a chore.

Feb. 4, 2010 12:38 PM
Hm. I’ll accept that. What job

Feb. 4, 2010 12:40 PM
Let me think about it. I’ll get back with you.


He shoveled the drive and had the five deducted from his pay.

Verbatim: Buns

Jan. 7, 2010 3:11 PM
Some nice buns needed.
Abe

Jan. 7, 2010 3:13 PM
You already have some very nice buns.

Jan. 7, 2010 3:14 PM
We need some for dinner.

Jan. 7, 2010 3:16 PM
I think that’s a GREAT idea, but what will you have?

Jan. 7, 2010 3:17 PM
Stop it!! Nip it!!
Please stop by the store for hamburger buns, if you are able to.
A.

Jan. 7, 2010 3:19 PM
Nipping is exactly what I had in mind. :)
Fine, I’ll pick up some buns on the way home.

Jan. 7, 2010 3:21 PM
AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGG.
Love,
Abe

Verbatim: Travel Advice

Ben is about to join Abe in California for a few days. It's his first flight alone, but he's pretty blasé about the whole thing. Abe has some advice.


Dec. 15, 2009 11:37 PM
Better set two alarms. Need to be at airport at 10:15 to be able to park and get Ben taken care of. Remember to give him cash. Tell him it is for the trip.

Dec. 15, 2009 11:38 PM
Goodnight.
Love, Abe


Dec. 15, 2009 11:41 PM
He wants to be awakened at 7 so he can lie in bed for at least a half hour. Wait 'til you see his suitcase; nothing is folded. :)
Good night. Mwah


Dec. 15, 2009 11:49 PM
No need to leave that early, is there? Better check flight. Maybe it is 11:30 departure. Cannot remember. If so arrive at airport by 10. No later. Leave house by 9. Drop off

Dec. 15, 2009 11:51 PM
Drop off car. Leave auto repair by 9:15. He could be awakened at 8. Set two alarms for you in case.
Thx. Love, Abe


Dec. 15, 2009 11:54 PM
We're fine. Thank you. Go to bed. :)


Dec. 15, 2009 11:55 PM
Fine.

Verbatim

Oct. 17, 2009 5:35:19 PM

Ooh. Found the turtle. Mmmmm.

Thank you!

B.

Oct. 17, 2009 5:39:39 PM

I am the best.

Oct. 17, 2009 5:44:20 PM

You really are.

Mwah

Verbatim

Aug. 19, 2009 5:45:39 PM

I have a meeting tonight until 9. See you shortly thereafter.

Mwah, Birdie

Aug. 19, 2009 6:03:03 PM

I will allow it.

Love, Abe