September 13, 2010

My Heart Is Breaking

A fifteen-year-old boy in Greensburg, Indiana killed himself last week because he was being bullied for being gay. The sub-header read that he was bullied for "being different," but the story quotes fellow students as saying he was teased mercilessly for being gay. There is no indication whether it was true or not, but it doesn't matter. After years of this kind of treatment, another student told him to go kill himself. And he did.

It was common knowledge among the student population that this was happening. Why did no one step up? What sort of culture has to exist to allow that kind of cruelty? Is it possible that not one adult knew? Having been in public education (as a student and a teacher), I have to think the evidence was there.

I remember seeing a young girl being teased when I was a student teacher. I asked my mentor teacher to please send her on an errand that would take some time. When she was gone, I ripped into the class. They had never seen me angry before, but there was no question how I felt about her treatment. I told them I could not wait for them to grow up and that this behavior would stop now. And you know what? It did stop. They were stunned at my tirade and took it to heart. She was never teased in my presence again. I don't know if it stopped altogether, but I did what I could.

We all must do what we can. We have to stop this behavior when we see it, no matter the age of the perpetrator. We have the power. We must have the conviction to use it.

Update: the Bilerico publisher asked me to write a post about Billy. It's here.

7 comments:

rox said...

When I was in HS, I was essentially tortured for almost a full school year so I can totally relate. I've always raised my kids to believe that if they don't stick up for other people when they get picked on, then they are just as guilty and then I added a whole lecture about "if I ever catch you..."

Too many people think that sort of behaviour is a rite of passage and that's utter horseshit. Gay, straight, black, white, male, female...it makes no difference, we all need to look out for one another.

Cubby said...

This is making me cry. I wonder how the damn Republicans can live with themselves when they keep opposing anti-bullying legislation. What's wrong with them?

tornwordo said...

I lived it but thankfully never contemplated killing myself. There's a couple of high school people I've never been quite able to forgive. Maybe one day I'll get there.

THIS IS ME....ONLINE said...

Fifteen is such a hard time. Not a kid. Not an adult. Trying to find where you fit in. Are you like these? Are you different from the others? Everything is magnified. We all need to step up and see what behaviors we are modelling for those around us. Middle schoolers are so cool. Believe in a kid that's not yours. We can make a difference one person at a time. I have to believe that God will use this boy's life to show others the way.

Doorman-Priest said...

I suspect that sort of selective vision is the same the world over.

Ur-spo said...

One of my worst memories that will haunt me forever was my fifth grade class ganging up and harassing a girl named Jean. and I did nothing. It is one of my most shameful memories ever; I hope she is okay.

Jess said...

The cruelty of children is a sad reality that adults have a duty to address. What's really disturbing is adults who don't care... or worse. So sad. Such a tragic waste!