July 25, 2009

Number 32,739

That's the current status of my list of Stupid Things I Have Done. I haven't really tried to count them until today. I figure after tonight's stunt, I needed some perspective. So tonight's STIHD is just .00003125% of all the idiot things I have done*. That's better.

What did I do? I nearly set the kitchen on fire.

We've decided that the bad ingredients in coconut oil are better than the bad ingredients in microwave popcorn, so we've gone back to the good old days of making our own stovetop popcorn. (Those of you old enough to remember will understand; it tastes like movie popcorn used to taste until the food police caused coconut oil to be taken off most shelves.)

I melted the oil in the pan and set it on the heat to pop the test kernels. Once those pop, you put in the rest, shake, and you get the best popcorn in the world. Needs no butter.

But tonight I was distracted and left the oil to heat. After too many minutes, I rushed into the kitchen to see smoke just starting to lift from under the lid. I took off the lid—second mistake—and turned to put the pan in the sink. WHOOMP! The pan filled with flames. I managed to still put the pan safely into the sink where the flames quickly extinguished themselves—I knew not to use water—but the house very shortly filled with smoke and fumes. We could hardly breathe. Abe and I had to leave the house several times as we struggled to open windows and mount fans. My throat still hurts. And no smoke was visible at all after less than a minute.

Finally, after twenty minutes or so, we could sit down again. Abe's throat hurt, but he rallied.

"So, are you not going to make more popcorn?"

I did. It was great.

*Formula: One mistake each day lived minus four years to learn right from wrong, plus one mistake each day each child has been alive. That's lowballing it.


Robert said...

Quite a scare. But I'm glad you managed to continue to pop 'em popcorn! Yum! I have some microwavable ones in the pantry, I think I'll go pop some now!! :-)

Enjoy your Sunday 2mrw Betty!!

rox said...

Holy cow Birdie! That was a close one!

I can't have popcorn too late in the day, it gives me nightmares. I bet tonight it will give you nightmares too! :o)

bigislandjeepguy said...

i am just glad you're ok. i have had three smoke/fire experiences in my life, and they were three too many.

didn't you ever tell your kids to NOT leave things on the stove unattended? i thought that was built-in "mom stuff". :)

Brian R said...

So glad all is okay. The only time I have done something similar was when I forgot about the oil on the stove while ringing a friend who had fled her house as a bushfire advanced a few days before. Her house was saved, mine (no where near the bushfire that time)nearly wasn't.
By the way I hate popcorn, even the smell can make me feel sick. Must be a family thing. we never had it at home and my sister also dilikes it.

tornwordo said...

My mom burned up the kitchen with hot oil and I've nearly done it twice. I bet you that's the number one cause of kitchen fires. Unattended oil being heated.

Java said...

I love popcorn, especially the stove-top made kind. I used to have an electric popcorn popper that did a most excellent job. I didn't have to shake it! That was the best part for me. I don't like microwave popcorn because it comes pre-flavored. I like to give it a little bit of butter, then sprinkle cinnamon sugar on it.

Your formula for figuring STIHD sounds about right to me, for me. At least. And yeah, lowballed.

KittyHawk said...

And Opie?

Birdie said...

All pets are just fine. Sophie joined us outside, and Abe flew upstairs right away to close all the doors. Opie was safely ensconced in one of the bedrooms. The goldfish never noticed.

THIS IS ME....ONLINE said...

Well, that was a little excitement you could of done without! Glad everyone's OK.

I once put a dozen eggs on the stove to boil to make a plate of deviled eggs. My son was an infant and napping and my hub was....I have no idea where. Anyway, I put them in a pan of water; got distracted and even decided to have a Sunday afternoon nap. I woke up to a horrible smell, a burned pan, and an explosion of eggs on the stove, floor, wall and ceiling. Tough lesson. That was one hard clean up!

Greg said...

This wasn't because Abe called you in to watch another foot race, was it? I'm glad it turned out well.

Now that I've gone microwave-free, I have welcomed the occasional batch of Jiffy-pop back into my life. Fun times.

Jeff said...

As scary as it sounds, it could have been worse. My Mom managed to catch herself on fire:


evilganome said...

This sounds about like something I would do myself. Though, it doesn't rate with the time my father almost burned the house down, cooking salt pork.

Jeaux said...

Glad you're OK... and went on to make more popcorn. Good one, Greg,

I refuse to calculate my STIHD list - the way I see it, that would only add one more item to the list.

Coconut oil is high in saturated fat - and very healthy. Not everything is what we've been told.