The Next Step

In my advocacy for equal rights and respect for people who are LGBT, I've done a lot of reading and studying, especially at the intersection of faith and sexuality. I have determined that anti-gay sentiment that is promulgated by religious conservatives (of ALL Abrahamic faiths) does not, in fact, come from the Bible/Koran/Torah. The roots go much deeper and further back to a cultural bias of misogyny.

What led me to this conclusion is the ongoing debate about the meaning of those biblical passages that may (or may not) be addressing homosexuality. There are about five different ways of looking at these passages, Old Testament and New. And honestly, it comes down to which meaning appeals most to the reader. Since some choose to find "homosexual acts" a sin—specifically men having sex with men—and some do not, what makes them choose that opinion? And why do they take that passage literally when there are dozens if not hundreds of other directives in the Holiness Code—out of 613—that they ignore? This inconsistency drives unbelievers crazy. Yet it persists. What's the deal?

I have determined that all people of faith take literally those directives that they agree with; all else are either metaphor, allegory, or taken in context of the time it was written. I do it, too. I find my view of acceptance consistent with my view of the nature of God. So this leaves us with the question: why do some choose to take literally a passage against homosexuality while ignoring other (and less convenient) passages?

One word: misogyny. And it began before a single word was written in the Bible. Look at the Ten Commandments: the tenth commandment warns against desiring things that don't belong to you: your neighbor's house, wife, male & female servant, donkey or anything that belongs to your neighbor. That is a list of property, and it's written in descending order of value. Until only 150 years ago, a wife was a means of transferring power and property, by marriage and by childbirth. In biblical times it was customary for conquering soldiers to rape their enemies, thereby in effect turning them into women—that is, property. Even today, minority cultures consider the dominant partner in male sex to be heterosexual. Only the recipient partner in the submissive "female" role is considered gay.

All of this is to say that any act or behavior that is considered feminine is "less than" masculine. It remains an insult to say you did something "like a girl/woman." That concept carries over especially to men who have feminine characteristics. Even men in the gay community deride feminine behavior among themselves; and when they do they participate in their own discrimination. This also explains the disparity in treatment of lesbians, who simply seem invisible by comparison.

I did not reach this decision lightly or quickly. I have never been what I consider to be a feminist activist, although any person with half a brain has to recognize the imbalance in treatment and respect between men and women. I confess that I had my Angry Young Woman period when I entered the working world and was hit in the face with the disparities. I learned to prevail in spite of it.

Having come to this conclusion about anti-gay sentiment over the years, it troubles me that now it appears to be "my" issue. I have never wanted my advocacy to be about me. In effect, it actually diminishes the value of my argument because I have something to gain. In truth, I've always had something to gain—justice for my gay brothers and sisters—but with this new insight it looks like it's all about me.  How can I explain what I've learned without getting shut down as a feminist wannabe?

Yesterday I was faced with exactly this issue and I don't know where to go with it. A terrific movie called "Inlaws and Outlaws" was screened at a nearby Episcopal church. I invited all of my pastoral colleagues to join me, but no one did. However, a gay colleague from another department who is becoming a good friend did join me. In guided discussion after the movie, I tried to explain what I learned to a table of six. I was cut off as soon as I said "misogyny." The two gay men at the table—including my friend—literally sat back in their chairs and started making jokes about just saying "yes" so I'd shut up.

I was stunned. It was disrespectful and frankly proved my point, but I didn't know how to say that without bringing conversation to a halt. I needed to think about how to present my view without getting shut down. Arguing is not the way to bring about a change of heart.

So I bring it to you: The problem remains that gay men and women will not get the equality they seek and deserve until I also get mine. How do I broach this idea so that minds don't shut down?

Update: A heavily edited (and much better) version of this post appears today on Bilerico.com.

A New Era Of Equality

The Presbyterian Church (USA) has just ratified Ordination Amendment 10-A, which allows churches to ordain gay clergy, elders, and deacons if they so choose. The ruling becomes effective July 10. This is a great day in our denomination, joining the United Church of Christ, the Episcopal Church, and the Evangelical Lutheran Church of America in God's overwhelming grace. Justice has been done today.

Update: My commentary on this momentous occasion is posted on Bilerico.

Rookie Lobbyist

Today I drove down to the Indiana Statehouse and spoke to my state senator about the bill coming up for vote tomorrow. It will attempt to embed marriage discrimination in the Indiana constitution. Stay tuned for the newbie report on Bilerico.

Update: My post is up on Bilerico.

Update II: Our very own Blobby commented on the article, and that comment has become its own post! Great conversation around an interesting subject: do politicians vote their conscience or the opinion of their constituents? Follow the discussion here.

Image from Wikipedia.

The One Thing

As I sit here in the Sarasota airport watching the sun set on my vacation, I am recalling the conversation I had with David on the flight here. In the midst of all our talk about advocacy, I asked him, "What's the one thing you wish people knew?"

David offered a moving soliloquy about the humanity of gay people. He wished straight people would see him as a fellow human being with one very small difference, a difference that counts so little in the grand scheme of things. He is not an issue, he is a human being who works, loves, and helps those around him. His is a compelling argument.

What about you? What's the one thing you wish people knew?

Fox News Faceoff

The opposing written opinions have been posted on the local Fox news site. Twelve to fifteen minutes of debate was edited down to about three. At least they used the part when my words were distinct.

Update: while the video remains available, apparently the written opinions are not archived.

Today On Bilerico: Fox News Face-off: "Cupcakegate" Debate

I get to find out tonight along with you whether I held up in my fight for LGBT equality. If you live in Indiana, the debate will air tonight on Fox affiliate Channel 59 at 10:00p, on the segment called "Face-off."

I was asked to write an opinion piece to be posted on their website (with the video? I don't know). You can read the essay on Bilerico.

Dear IRS

An actual letter sent by a wonderful friend of mine (whose name I've obscured), who's just had enough. Click to embiggen.

He enclosed a check for $5.00. I love this man.

Update: I gained permission from the author to post it on Bilerico. It's up.

An Open Letter To My Fellow Straight Christians About Marriage Equality

I wrote an article about Proposition 8 and why I support its repeal. There are a lot of people who are wondering if they can do the same and be true to their faith. Please forward a link if you know someone like that. You can find it here.

What's Your Sign?

Here's mine.


This past Monday the National Organization for Marriage held a rally on the steps of the Indiana Statehouse. I joined several hundred counter-protesters in a successful bid to seriously outnumber rally attendees. Well, someone took my picture and posted it on the NOM Tour Tracker website. From there, that picture has gone viral. Wow. Even Joe.My.God picked it up and posted it. I'm overwhelmed at the response.

I've written my newbie report of the event for Bilerico. I'll update when it's posted.

Update: The Bilerico post is up.

Photo courtesy of Phyllis Lozano, Courage Campaign

Saturday on Bilerico: Christians Apologize At Chicago Pride

It's all over the InterWebs. This picture depicts a young gay man hugging a pastor who says he is sorry for what the church has done. It is an uplifting scenario and you can read about it on Nathan Albert's very moving post.

I couldn't wait to write an article about it for Bilerico, so I set about doing my homework. I found information about the Marin Foundation, which staged this event, that is disturbing. While you wait for my article to post on Saturday afternoon, read this 2006 article written by Michelangelo Signorile for The Advocate.

Update: It's up.

Update II: Wow. This post on Bilerico certainly has garnered attention. I've been exploring other links offered by commenters, and my conclusions only get darker about Marin. Sorry to have ignored this blog, but I'll be back shortly.

Photo credit: Michelle at maladjustedmedia.com

This Is A Post

So much going on, but the muse has abandoned me. So this is a report just to keep you informed.

I attended my second Pride, and this one was three times bigger than last year's. Even with high temps and muggy humidity, the throng swelled and filled the new venue. I sat at the booth for our AIDS support center, selling water bottles to raise funds for our food pantry. We surpassed our goal and made enough to stock the pantry for a week. Pretty cool to see a lot of straight couples wandering through all the booths, and my favorite sight was seeing a knot of six junior-high boys, out and proud, laughing and gaping at the fabulousness. Now THAT'S a sign of progress.

Later the same week, I manned the booth for a company health fair. One of many tables under a tent, most employees came by to sign up for our raffle (restaurant certificates), but some still glanced sideways at us and wouldn't get closer than six feet.

I write this from St. Louis, where I'm staying with my nephew at a hospital during the day when his parents are working. He is in traction, preparing for surgery on his hip on Monday. The traction was a last-minute call by his doctor, so my brother asked if I could help them out. They already are taking all of next week off to be with him post-surgery. The little guy (age seven) has a hip injury that refuses to heal properly. Without the surgery he would have a permanent limp and eventual arthritis. This on a kid who is a natural athlete. He's good at everything. Of course he won't stop moving, which exacerbated his injury. I'm really hoping this surgery is the repair that ends it. "Tony Hawk: Underground" keeps him occupied.

[This picture has been pulled due to an extraordinary amount of traffic on this post which I cannot otherwise explain.]

At some down time this evening, I went for a walk from my brother's house. He is smack next door to Grant's Farm where all the Budweiser Clydesdales are raised. I took pictures that I will download sometime later. No hardware here. This one is from my BlackBerry (as are the two above).

I'm grateful for the flexibility in my job that lets me take off on a moment's notice and help out. I'll be back home on Saturday and ready for church on Sunday.

I have finished two books that require some time to digest before reviewing:

Leaving Church: A Memoir of Faith by Barbara Brown Taylor

and The Velvet Rage: Overcoming the Pain of Growing Up Gay in a Straight Man's World by Dr. Alan Downs.

Very different subjects, but each of them tells the story of coming to terms with the essence of self. I highly recommend both of them and would love to hear from anyone who's also read them.

I really can't explain why I'm stuck and unable to post anything more meaningful right now. I'm commenting and wishing I could say more. It will return. I'll let you know when.

Today On Bilerico: Mitchell Gold: Fighting The Crisis Of Religious Bigotry

Remember the story I posted about using Mitchell Gold's book Crisis as an introduction to understanding for a friend of mine? That post caught the attention of Brent Childers, the executive director of Faith In America, Gold's foundation for LGBT equality. Through an interesting series of connections, I ended up being able to do an email interview with Mitchell. His answers were so eloquent and clear they needed nothing more from me. We didn't want to cut a single word, so Bilerico is posting it in two parts. Read Part One to see just how dedicated this man is to his very worthy cause.

Update: Part Two is up.

I'm Out

And I'm proud.

I just returned from a visit with my senior pastor in which I told him of my work on Bilerico. He was receptive and encouraging. Honestly, I expected nothing less. But I have kept a low profile for fear of interfering with the progress at my church. My stance on the subject of faith and sexuality is well-known now. Whenever I have spoken, I have made it clear that I speak as a member and not as a representative of the church, for fear of setting back our forward movement. But my pastor assures me that, in spite of a few who will never change their minds, he feels our congregation is welcoming and on its way to making it official. Maybe that timeline I originally figured—three to four years—isn't so far off after all. (I sat down with five pastors and presented my timeline in December of 2008.)

So now my immediate boss, some peers and the senior pastor know all about my writing for Bilerico. All are very supportive. It is such a relief to be able to talk about it!

Next: Facebook.

Today On Bilerico: Catholic Church Fires Woman

A tip from a Bilerico reader led to an article in the Des Moines Register about a woman who was fired for counseling transgender clients on church property. It's a complex case that has just come to national attention. The official response from the Catholic Church refers to thousands of years of teaching. You can read about my feelings on church "traditions" here.

Today On Bilerico: The African Christian Church In America

I came across two different links yesterday: a video and an article. They had an interesting commonality, and I ended up writing about it this morning. The article explains why some African Americans feel justified in voting against civil rights for people who are LGBT. They don't see it as a civil issue at all. You can read my take on it here.

On The Road Again, Again

I'm about to head out the door to hit the road for sunny tropical Cleveland, where I will be attending the annual convention for the Covenant Network of Presbyterian Churches. I'll be networking and learning, all with the fervent hope of someday being a great resource for somebody my church. (Yeah, gettin' a little frustrated at the pace, which is glacial right now.)

If all goes as planned, I'll have a blogger confirmation for y'all too. WiFi will be spotty; updates when possible.

And yes, I'll be careful on the road. I'm taking my new convertible minipontoon. (When hubby got the "In God we trust" license plate years ago, I dubbed it the Jesus Chrysler. Now I'm driving the thing. I added an HRC sticker for balance.)

Later!

Great Signs From The National Equality March

Stolen from Buzz Feed, where you'll find more.

Today on Bilerico Indiana: Indiana Coming Out Day Celebration

I made a new sign for my second appearance at a protest! In all the excitement, I forgot to get a picture of it, but someone else posted a few and I nabbed one.

Photo courtesy of Wilson E. Allen

You can read my short post about it here.

Today on Bilerico Indiana: Senator Lugar Responds

Bilerico contributor Jillian Weiss made it easy this summer to contact my senator and email a letter of support for ENDA legislation. Recently, Dr. Weiss asked to hear about any responses. Read about Lugar's interesting response to my email on Bilerico Indiana.

The Conversation Continues

The final presbytery in the Presbyterian Church USA has voted, and the amendment to permit the ordination of openly gay persons has been defeated—for now. The margin spread was only two percentage points: 51% to 49%. This is the third time the amendment has been put to a vote, and in this election thirty-four presbyteries changed their votes from previously negative to affirmative. Thirty-four of seventy-eight positive votes!

The Detroit presbytery has already put forth the question to be addressed in the 2010 General Assembly, and the vote will be put to the presbyteries in 2011. It will pass. It will pass because supporters are already being marshaled and organized for education and conversation. This is one more step in the groundswell of support that I believe will lead to marriage equality on a federal level.

It is my fervent wish that the civil victory that is imminent will become a spiritual victory as well, however more slowly accomplished. The church will ultimately learn the expression of God’s grace through unconditional acceptance. I pray that I will live to see it.